Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fall Apart — and a Gentler Way to Think About Health Goals
Image sourced from unsplash.com
Many people start the new year with goals for their health, only to feel discouraged a few weeks later. Research shows that most New Year’s resolutions are abandoned within the first month (Dickson et al., 2021). This is not a personal failure. Changing habits is difficult, especially when goals do not fit into real life. At Functional Self Care™, we focus on building skills that help you care for yourself consistently, especially when life gets hard. If your resolution involves diet or exercise, success is often less about trying harder and more about choosing goals that are clear, flexible, and meaningful.
Why Resolutions Can Be So Difficult to Maintain
Health goals often ask people to keep going despite fatigue, stress, or competing priorities. When goals are unclear or unrealistic, it’s easy to feel discouraged. Even worse, rigid goal pursuit — pushing forward no matter what — can backfire. Research suggests that pushing toward an unattainable goal without adjusting can lead to negative self-talk and lower well-being (Dickson et al., 2021). Over time, this can make it harder to stay engaged with health habits. Difficulty maintaining a resolution does not mean someone lacks discipline or motivation. More often, it means the goal itself wasn’t designed to support real life.
The Problem with “Eat Better” and “Work Out More”
Goals around diet and exercise are incredibly common and can be hard to follow, especially for people who have struggled with weight or body image. While well-intentioned, these goals are often vague and offer little guidance. Without clear steps, it’s hard to know if you’re making progress - and even harder to stay consistent.
A More Compassionate Approach to Goal Setting
Instead of setting resolutions that rely on willpower alone, try approaching your goals as self-care practices that can adapt with you.
1. Choose Goals That Are Specific and Measurable
Specific goals reduce decision fatigue and help you notice progress.
For example:
Instead of “lose weight,” try “walk for 20 minutes, three times a week.”
Instead of “work out more,” try “strength train twice a week for the next month.”
These goals are easier to return to, even after a tough week.
2. Start Where You Are — Not Where You Think You “Should” Be
Goals work best when they match your current energy, schedule, and experience. For people who have had difficult relationships with exercise or food, this can be especially important.
If running feels overwhelming, walking counts.
If an hour feels like too much, ten minutes is still meaningful.
Starting small allows you to build confidence and learn what feels doable.
3. Build Flexibility Into Your Plan
Flexible goal adjustment is an important part of well-being. It allows you to respond to stress, illness, or busy seasons without guilt or shame.
Missed a workout? Shorten the next one.
Busy week? Focus on movement instead of intensity.
Progress doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.
4. Connect Goals to What Matters to You
Goals often feel more meaningful when they support things like having more energy, feeling more comfortable in the body, or moving with less pain. When goals are connected to personal values rather than pressure or appearance, they tend to feel more supportive. You might ask:
What do I want this goal to support in my life?
How do I want to feel in my body day to day?
5. Set a Deadline and Celebrate Wins
Deadlines help you stay focused and give you natural moments to reflect and celebrate. They provide opportunities to reflect on what’s working, what feels difficult, and what may need to change - without judgment.
Self-Care Is About Progress, Not Perfection
Functional Self Care™ is not about fixing a body or proving discipline. It’s about creating conditions that make caring for yourself more accessible over time.
If you’ve struggled with weight, body image, or shame around health behaviors, this approach may feel different — and that difference is intentional.
Health does not have to be driven by pressure or rigid rules. Sometimes, change begins with clarity, flexibility, and understanding.
Samantha Patterson, CHES®, is a certified Health Education Specialist and summa cum laude graduate from Arizona State University’s College of Health Solutions. She shares approachable, evidence-based guidance for building sustainable health habits that are realistic, flexible, and supportive of everyday life.
Dickson, J. M., Moberly, N. J., Preece, D., Dodd, A., & Huntley, C. D. (2021). Self-Regulatory Goal motivational processes in sustained New Year resolution pursuit and mental wellbeing. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(6), 3084. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18063084
